I am proud to announce officially that in the course of the last month I have aquired a new source for bad conscience.
It came complementary with the (mild, rudimentary) political awareness that I, obviously prompted by the peer pressure or chain reaction of the student protests here in Austria, exchanged for my long-time escapist apathy and self-inflicted myopia.
I am, obviously, unarguably, behind this cause, (and many others) and will give anybody who asks cogent arguments why. But that is as far as it goes.
Political commitment, out of my own initiative, is extremely hard to practice and all my noble intentions fall short of being transformed into reality. And whereas up to now, I have usually shrugged this off with reference to my personality and interests, it's now really beginning to bother me. Certainly another consequence of the current "political atmosphere", which is close enough to give me ideas, but apparently not close enough to suck me in.
I have tried blaming my lack of connection, my insular-isolated-introvert situation, and I have tried blaming my other obligations and my more-than-brimful time table - but all in all these are all empty arguments that miss the quintessential point, which is that I am, in that respect, as in many others, pretty much inept. Boldly walking up to people to tell them what I think is right and why they are wrong is definitely NOT my strong point. And neither is boldly walking up to people to tell them that I think what they are doing is right and that I would like to support them. Not even that! It is incredibly pathetic.
My contribution to the student protests therefore is: explaining my point to various members of my family and wearing a badge.
Colour me shamefaced.
None of my cells are revolutionary.